The trick is to get the shittiest mic you can find, stuff it up the arse of a freshly hollowed-out goat, and speak into it from the other side of the room.
I've been out of work for 19 months, living off savings, so fixing things that break down is not possible. I've lost the dishwasher. I also lost the car. And I was able to buy a new clothes washer early on....
Puppies do chew stuff. They shit and piss wherever they fancy. If you get a puppy thinking it'll lie there looking cute all day then you haven't done your research and should not get a dog.
Boils my piss, I do feel like posting when I see one, like "Oi, you sir/madam are a complete cock end, you bought the f***ing thing, look after it, and the only reason its chewing your f***ing furniture is because it probably never sees you for 9 hours and its bored shitless... Poor things havent got long on this planet, and the most of that time is waiting for the likes of you bellends coming home! /rant!"
Bet dogs are 10 a penny though... Poor buggers, saw a few adverts on Twitter and that, heart goes out to them, anyone selling dogs just because they had nowt to do in lockdown should be fined!