personal memory erasure

[Matty]

Greetings people.

I've just spent the last hour puzzling over something that happened to my mind.

A memory of some sensations from the past six months in my mind has been wiped.

I know those emotions were there-sensations similar to the struggle and sense of achievement a marathon runner feels..positive and negative-because I had them for so long.

But this morning on waking the memory has vanished.  I cannot summon up the feelings or recall the ideas.

It's good and bad.  They were painful but also triumphant.

It's like a clean slate of sorts.

Unusual.

Sorry to bring up something personal....it's just odd.  I'm scratching my head.

Have you ever woken to find 6 months has evaporated from your consciousness?  I don't drink or do drugs either.

[Matty]

It's actually a good thing I think...I feel a weight has lifted of some sort....

anyway..back to coding (at work)

[Derron]

I think your brain is blocking access to it to avoid psychic damage.

Some kind of intented amnesia. Means there might have been things in your memory which made you very very sad (split from girlfriend or so) and to make life go on, your brain blocks access to the memories of it - especially "feelings".

Bye
Ron

[Matty]

I tend to agree with you Derron...it's funny a number of people have commented to me over the last few years that there's something I should possibly remember but simply don't...they've hinted at something numerous times without spelling it out - there is definitely something strange about my mind these last few years.

[ENAY]

I suffer from Dyslexia and make error and forget stuff all the time, which is why I make notes and have todo lists every single day. If I keep reminding myself or looking at a list, I don't forget anything.
Make records of stuff Matty. Humans forget things everything, but 99% of it is unimportant.

[Qube]

Have you ever woken to find 6 months has evaporated from your consciousness?

I think you are suffering from your consciousness shifting from one alternate reality to the the next. In quantum theory every possible decision you make creates an alternate timeline. It could be your consciousness is phasing through different alternate realities.

If you notice any posts missing on the forum then please let me know so I can pin point the exact quantum phase signature. That way I may be able to realign your phase variance and stabilise your reality matrix

Seriously though. There is something odd going on in reality. Things are not quite right and it seems shifted some how. Sometimes people look at you like they know you are wrong and different to them.

[Matty]

Seriously though. There is something odd going on in reality. Things are not quite right and it seems shifted some how. Sometimes people look at you like they know you are wrong and different to them.

Qube - you are in some ways spot on there and also not at the same time.

Whether you meant that as a general statement or as a statement relating to me I can definitely tell you that over the last 4 years I've felt as if such a statement applies to me most definitely.

Sometimes I believe I'm a different species. Maybe I am.

Sometimes I believe I've walked through a gate or portal in late 2014 (Dec 19 to be exact at about 2am)

But yes - it sounds ridiculous and crazy but I don't belong here - in this universe, and I feel like it is trying to 'vomit' or 'burp' me out of it at times - like I just don't really belong.

Maybe you feel the same, maybe you don't.

But it's like that.

[Rick Nasher]

Another freaky event to add to the list.
The other day a specific event that doesnt occur often (as on daily weekly or monthly basis)in a comedy show reminded me and my gf separately of something similar happening to a dear co worker. And that day, while I wasn't at work, it was announced there that she passed away.. 


I sometimes feel like we're in that movie Donnie Darko but without the hallucinations bit.

[Matty]

If Elon Musk sending a sports car into outer space isn't enough to convince you this world is a facade then I don't know what is.

[ENAY]

Matty, I can assure you, you're as amazing (or mundane) as the rest of us humans.

PS How's that project you're working on that you announced last week? Work hard on that instead of posting to us here. )

[Qube]

Whether you meant that as a general statement or as a statement relating to me I can definitely tell you that over the last 4 years I've felt as if such a statement applies to me most definitely.

Generally

There is definitely something odd going on. Very often you can work around the shops and others seem to look at you in restrained horror and the instinct you get is "They're looking at me like I've not changed yet" or "They appear frightened that I know that they are different". It's kinda like a bizarre body snatchers moment.

I don't mind if people / members poke fun and laugh but there really is something weird going on in reality at the moment. The reason I don't mind being mocked is I'm open for a reasonable explanation and discussion and to see if others are experiencing the same thing. If I'm nuts, so be it, but I'd like to know. I'm a very logical guy and pretty sane ( honest ) but here and there I really do get the impression that things are not quite what they should be.

For a complete wacky theory on all this... I think that an experiment ( Cern or something else ) has caused some sort of break between the multiverse and has mixed realities. This would explain why the feelings of "you're wrong" happen and also the reason why others look at you and have that "you're wrong" expression on their face. They don't understand as much as you don't. If this has happened then perhaps our sub consciousness is somehow picking up on it.

[Matty]

Hi Qube.

You are not alone there.

But what I have found for myself is it doesn't help one's sanity to discuss it.  It leads to unanswerable questions that will persistently crop up.

For me it leads to fear and that is risky so I have to manage the situation.

But....there are many more symptoms if that's the right word of this situation.  I'm not going to discuss them all here.

However I mostly agree with you.

[Derron]

Most of the symptoms are explainable with some psychological disorder - in other words, you are partially insane.

Why am I saying this? If there was some kind of "reality break" (multiverse or whatever) there would be so many people:
- recognizing that they feel in the wrong place
- recognizing that their "former partner" behaves differently
- recognizing that one of their neighbors behaves differently than before ..
- .. the circle radius of affected people increases and increases

If there would have been so many people affected, why do we not know about some popular people (presidents, ...). People which are in the focus of millions of people. So changes in their behaviour would be made "apparent" within seconds.

Ask yourself why it's only you - and a few others - who are affected. Why there are only "yellow press/conspiracy" blogs talk about such stuff. The more possible things are, the more possibly it gets talked about it.


I read about odd happenings/events in your threads - happening to you (Matty) and others responding there. Of course funny/odd things happen to all of us - at least we interpret it as "odd". Most times the source of the "odd feeling" is our brain .. connecting old/past events with things happening now - making you feel like you have seen things before, have known things before.
Just think about the time alone between "seeing something" and having your brain "knowing what is has seen" (there is some kind of delay). This time alone is long enough for synapses to exchange "wrong information" - or make you think you have seen that already.
Sometimes you dream things, it seems as if you dreamed a half day of "story" but when you awake you saw that you just were dreaming for some minutes (I know... REM phase etc, but sometimes you wake ab and are able to fall asleep for a short amount of time again - in which you already continue dreaming). So dreams are not "realtime dreams" which explains that things like "deja-vus" could get created within a partial partial part of a second.

Odd messages on ones cars could be coming from mentally ill people - or more possible - people who want to play a joke (who still might be mentally "not as sober as needed"). Do you know that only YOU got such a message? I have an odd dude lurking around at a local bus station - talking about the Afghan war, that metal kills people but he is no murder, he never killed one - this sounds scary but it is just him being mentally ill. But here you talk about people looking at you - I assume this is a matter of self-confidence.

What happens if you wear a pink shirt with a unicorn on you. Do you "feel" that everybody is staring at you? Some people might, but most people are just not interested in their environment - or are just not watching in your direction. Still you think _everybody_is_watching_me!!111eleven!.

Most of this problems are self-made and surely based on your mental profile/character. It is just way more likely than a "phase drift in reality", "I live in a Matrix and experienced a bug" or "I am an alien living on a flat-earth" .


bye
Ron

[TomToad]

This video might be of interest for anybody that hasn't seen it.

[Rick Nasher]

I would have agreed with Derron in the past.
I used to believe in science is everything. But.. science is a set of manmade virtual rules that work until proven otherwise or when new factors/better rules are discovered, which is often the case.
Consciousness, I used to believe is solely created by the brain(a biological computer), but.. we simply don't know enough about it to be 100% sure, so there's room for doubt. 

If you consider these 2 might very well be that there's more than meets the eye, or any other of our limited sensors, either biological or man made.


I do not have a history of mental illness, I do not easily 'believe' in things not seen/experienced for myself and even if I do see/experience anything odd, I try to find every logical explanation there could possibly be, simply because I can't easily accept things like that.  However, I must say that over the course of my lifetime I have seen tooo many weird things *and* proven to others who said they never ever experienced something weird, up the point they got scared sh*tles and never spoke about it again.

One example: as a kid I used to play chess with my cousin. We we're both teenage kids and seen this show on TV Matthew Starr, where there's a (alien)kid with some special mental powers. I thought, well if something like that exists and if I'm confident enough, I can do it, perhaps mind over matter/energy=matter so all's possible.
So we've set out to try disprove/prove it. He'd put black & white pawns behind his back, 1 in each of his hands and then think about the white one. I then would see with my eyes closed which one was the white one.
I did this many times and scored positive way above what could be considered coincidence(97% and no they were not pulling my leg and worked better with people closely linked to). I told this story to people every now and then and last year or so at my sisters birthday I was challenged by my father who hadn't seen us do this as kids. I did this with my sister and out 5 times I scored 4.(5th time my father messed with the pieces, put 2 white lol).
All in all a nice 'party trick' with no real use.

I've even considered to collect the 1 million dollar price, but in all honesty I do not know how it works and why. Could very well be always works, but then suddenly doesn't, for it's only "something" that's messing with you, just to f you up, trying to make you think *you* are that special one doing this, while in reality( if there is such a thing) not so at all.


I have many more examples of 'weirdness' with eye witnesses, so I have no choice but to come to the conclusion there are more things we cannot explain with the knowledge we have. All one can do is observe and examine carefully with these limited sensors of ours..  And do not fear.

As one not really existing little fellow once said:
"Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering."