May 21, 2018, 06:22:00 AM

Author Topic: Have you ever felt this way?  (Read 282 times)

Offline Matty

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Have you ever felt this way?
« on: February 14, 2018, 07:54:11 AM »
All of us have passions - we get excited about something. I know for example Naughty loves his boat and his cars. I know Yue likes his Mars game. I sense Blitzplotter(not sure of his name on this forum) loves his running.  And many others here have passions - all different, all unique.

Do you ever feel a sense or pang of sadness that the people in your local environment don't seem to 'spark up' or gain any excitement or share in your passion?

I suppose that's why clubs exist...eg motor clubs here people of a similar mentality can share their love for all things vehicular.

Or other clubs.

I feel I need to find a club of some sort for some things - and they exist and I'm gradually finding them in my city.

But it does sadden me when the people you feel are important to you simply respond with 'meh...not interested' when you try and share some exciting news about something that thrills you to bits.....but leaves them feeling bland.


Offline Matty

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Re: Have you ever felt this way?
« Reply #1 on: February 14, 2018, 07:57:29 AM »
Analogy..it's like a kid waking up to find an amazing present especially for them and when they try and tell their family and friends their family and friends want them to go away and let them sleep....

Offline Derron

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Re: Have you ever felt this way?
« Reply #2 on: February 14, 2018, 08:27:46 AM »
It is _your_ special interest.

Imagine you come up with a superb looking painting. Your friends and family will say "wow, good job".
A week later you come up with the next superb looking painting. Your friends and family will say "wow, good job. You seem to master this skill"
A week later you come up with the 3rd superb looking painting. Your friends and family will say "cool, you got it again"
A week later you come up with the 4th superb looking painting. Your friends and family will say "cool stuff"
A week later you come up with the 5th superb looking painting. Your friends and family will say "Looks good"

And down it goes ... they will always say "cool/good stuff" as they are your friends/family. They won't tell you how less they are interested in it - this is social behaviour. But if you ask them for critics you will see how the critics become more and more "direct" (if they are able to "see" what you are doing wrong or not).
After a while this critics become more and more "light" as they do not want to discuss things over and over with you (especially if you do not change your approach/way-of-doing, ...).

Normal social interaction - at least imho.


@ interest/hobbies
The more special your hobbies are, the less shares with your "old" buddies (and family) you will have. If you find a flavor to have sex in fantasy hero costumes, your buddies won't be interested much in that stories (not to talk about your family). If you are interested in soccer/football/favorite-sports-game then chances are high to find someone who is interested in it too. They could talk about different teams without many issues.
Once you found a buddy with the same interest it is of course possible to talk with them about your favorite costume then :-)

I would not worry about my buddies not being interested in my programming hobbies that much (they are interested in the _results_ though).

 
bye
Ron

Offline Matty

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Re: Have you ever felt this way?
« Reply #3 on: February 14, 2018, 08:52:54 AM »
Sigh...you are right Derron...I kind of knew that...but yes you are right.

Offline Derron

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Re: Have you ever felt this way?
« Reply #4 on: February 14, 2018, 09:23:27 AM »
Just think of the opposite view:

Your buddy has 5 doctor degrees in chemistry and biology. Now he creates some chemical stuff and wants you to explain _why_ this is working. He is telling you about atomic numbers, check - you learned about that in school, then he tells you about suprafluids and their special behaviour if mixing them with phosphor-wolframite-acid. Ok.. ahm, what did he do? What acid? You still have a bit of a glance what he might be talking about. He assume meanwhile you still are with him - and if not you wont be able to understand it at all. Same stuff if he integrates some nano-technics to achieve things.
As long as he does not explain it in a "chemistry for dummies" approach you will be lost somewhere in his explanations.

He (or she of course) recognizes your missing knowledge about this stuff and will start to either "not telling you about it anymore" or just tell you the "simple stuff" ("I achieved to make an element suprafluid and electrically conductive").
If you now just accept that, without "asking for more details" they will not tell you more the next time.


Regarding your painting stuff you have the benefit of the result being visible to all. But this is also your biggest problem: all paintings (of others) are visible to all (if done publically) so people could compare your achievements with others. If your paintings look hmm "needs getting used to" then responses/reactions will be different. Same for music, books, ... aka "known products for the masses". Special stuff (biology, physics, medicine) is just something most people do not know much about - and same counts for very special hobbies (costumes :-)).

With comparative hobbies people might take your actions serious or not ("it's just a hobby, let him do as long as he does not harm anyone").

bye
Ron

Offline ENAY

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Re: Have you ever felt this way?
« Reply #5 on: February 14, 2018, 10:00:42 AM »
I get this sometimes with all my friends back home where I grew up.

I emigrated to Japan and sometimes when they tell me what they're doing. They seem somehow jealous that I am doing programming, or that I am fluent in Japan. Or basically they see something in my life that they don't have in theirs and they think "That's awesome for you, I wish I had something in my life".

So I ask them what they want to do, and they just say they don't know. Then continue to play games, watch TV, go to the cinema as normal working in the same jobs that they got when they left school.

I don't know why certain people don't have a passion for some sort of job, hobby. I guess they're just full on consumerists, constantly filling their time with fun things to do, rather than sitting back and trying to do something creative.

Some enjoy the challenge, some people enjoy the normality of life and don't feel the need to push outside their comfort zones. A lot of people are like that, it's just the way life is.

All I do know is, they moan from time to time about their life not going anywhere, I don't have those feelings. If they want to change then it's something they have to do themselves. If they are not passionately interesting in something you are and they go meh, that's their problem and not yours.

Offline IanMartin

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Re: Have you ever felt this way?
« Reply #6 on: February 14, 2018, 10:28:06 PM »
I can relate to this thread!

That's how things are for me.  Nobody understands what I actually do with the game work.  It's like a black box and the game just appears after me typing gibberish for a couple of years.  I don't have anyone who can relate to it.  My wife doesn't really understand it, so when I say stuff about it or ask her what she thinks, I tend to get a blank look or an "I don't know" kind of response.  I don't think programming is very interesting to most people, heheh  So I guess it's good we're all hanging out here.  I'm pretty sure you guys grok what it is to be a game programmer...
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Offline Steve Elliott

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Re: Have you ever felt this way?
« Reply #7 on: February 14, 2018, 10:47:07 PM »
Some people think it's really interesting to watch people shouting at other people in soap operas.  Don't try and work it out.  It's just disappointing when close friends and relatives don't get what interests you, but don't worry about it, as long as you have a passion and interest in something then follow it, and ignore what others think.
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Offline Naughty Alien

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Re: Have you ever felt this way?
« Reply #8 on: February 15, 2018, 12:36:12 AM »
...also, keep in mind that, as much as you can be enthusiastic about something, that can also be a major league disappointment in case something doesnt go the way you want (your own self satisfaction, regardless of understanding from others), so in such scenario, is best to have an 'exit' route to chill out a bit and go back to original state of excitement...

Fore example, as you mentioned, i do like to repair stuff (and i like a lot ancient stuff and vintage things, be it boats or cars)..so, my excitement was maxed when i started working on a boat..tons of things to be done but i enjoyed it..then fuc**ng sewer tank collapsed and spill out at me some 15 liters of ultimate shit composition, which is not mine by the way, and smell like it came from hell itself...that was the moment i wanted to burn down whole damn thing...lol...even dogs lives at boat yard ran away from me, it was THAT bad smell..but i have had 'escape route', and simply let go off whole thing for almost a month and im back to it again, with some good jokes to talk about...hehehe...soo..dont worry about others, just make sure you walk that path that makes you happy and always make sure that there is an exit rout, just in case :)

Offline meems

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Re: Have you ever felt this way?
« Reply #9 on: February 15, 2018, 12:44:49 AM »
I get this sometimes with all my friends back home where I grew up.

I emigrated to Japan and < snip >

We don't care about that. Did you get to nail the hot Jap women? I hear they love white nerds.

Offline IanMartin

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Re: Have you ever felt this way?
« Reply #10 on: February 15, 2018, 12:56:13 AM »
Soooo...we should only buy a brand new boat?  ;D
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Offline Naughty Alien

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Re: Have you ever felt this way?
« Reply #11 on: February 15, 2018, 01:02:54 AM »
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I hear they love white nerds.
..you heard it wrong..

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Soooo...we should only buy a brand new boat?  ;D

..hehehe...well..if it fill the bill :) .. i personally love vintage stuff...so much more character in it than new things..but thats just me :)

Offline IanMartin

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Re: Have you ever felt this way?
« Reply #12 on: February 15, 2018, 01:09:48 AM »
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i personally love vintage stuff...so much more character in it than new things
Yeah, me too, they don't make stuff like they used to!
Just make sure they clean it out first...heh
Platfinity (made with BlitzMax) on Steam:
http://store.steampowered.com/app/365440/Platfinity/

Offline ENAY

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Re: Have you ever felt this way?
« Reply #13 on: February 15, 2018, 06:47:46 AM »
In the desposable mass produced world we live in now, vintage and antiques in many areas of life will be a thing of the past. I mean what if you had a nostalgic trip for iPhone 1 games?
No way of emulating stuff no long available on the store and even if you did have them still downloaded to a particular device, those servers will be long dead and switched off if you try to run them.

Offline RemiD

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Re: Have you ever felt this way?
« Reply #14 on: February 15, 2018, 12:19:56 PM »
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Do you ever feel a sense or pang of sadness that the people in your local environment don't seem to 'spark up' or gain any excitement or share in your passion?
No i don't care, it is normal, each person has different interests / tastes / preferences...

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I suppose that's why clubs exist...
thanks to the interweb, we can gather and discuss specific subjects in dedicated communities (on this forum for example)

if i would rely on the people in my local environment to discuss how to make games, the design, the programming, the graphics, the sounds, it would be very very limited... (same thing for my others interests)

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But it does sadden me when the people you feel are important to you simply respond with 'meh...not interested' when you try and share some exciting news about something that thrills you to bits.....but leaves them feeling bland.
that's life  ;)