Progammer humor

[Rooster]

For posting programing jokes, or just nerd and geek humor.

So I'll start.

A wife sends her husband who is a programmer to the store.
She asks him to get two loafs of bread, and if they have eggs, to buy a dozen.
The husband returns with a dozen loafs of bread.

[Qube]

I just spent hours travelling 2 miles on the motorway.. It was a hard drive

[Qube]

The other day I saw an advert on the side of a bus for the galactic launch of a new breakfast cereal. Yup, it was a Universal Serial Bus 

[Qube]

My memory isn't as good as it once was. These days I'm a bit DIMM.

[Rooster]

The other day I saw an advert on the side of a bus for the galactic launch of a new breakfast cereal. Yup, it was a Universal Serial Bus 

*snickering noises*

[Qube]

I'm trying to emulate others these days. Some say it's the Wine talking

[Qube]

My brain hurts from making those up. I'll stop for now *thank God they say*

[Rooster]

I'm trying to emulate others these days. Some say it's the Wine talking

Do you use linux too? =D

[Qube]

I'm trying to emulate others these days. Some say it's the Wine talking

Do you use linux too? =D

At the risk of starting mad flame wars, I'm a Mac user 

[Rooster]

At the risk of starting mad flame wars, I'm a Mac user 

Does this happen a lot between Mac and linux users?

[Qube]

Does this happen a lot between Mac and linux users?

I've not had the pleasure of a Linux / Mac user go into full hair dryer mode about Mac vs Linux. I'm sure there are Mac and Linux snobs about but I'd just flick them aside with a disgruntled look on my face as I'm a superior former AmigaOS user.

[Rooster]

I might be a Linux person, but I respect Macs.
My family had a Macintosh for over ten years, and it only just recently started the process of dieing.

[Qube]

A gang of hard drives started a criminal adventure. Unfortunately they got raided 

[therevills]

Oldie but a goodie:

How many software engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
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[spoiler]None! Its a hardware problem![/spoiler]

[Goodlookinguy]

Notepad++'s source code has a litany of jokes. Here's some...

Q: What's the best thing about UDP jokes?
A: I don't care if you get them.

Q: A programmer had a problem, so he decided to use threads.
A: Now 2 has. He problems

J: To most religious people, the holy books are like a software license (EULA). Nobody actually reads it. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree"

J: I don't want to sound like a badass but...I eject my USB drive without removing it safely.

J: A SQL query goes into a bar, walks up to two tables and asks, "Can I join you?"

You should really look them up. I'm not good at this particular kind of joking, so I'm not going to involve myself.

...or, maybe I can try one...
J: I had a bit to eat, but there's still 31 left.

Yeah, that was bad. I'm not doing that again.